FEEDBACK BY USHA ON MAY 2021 NEWSLETTER (JAYAM100)
The editorial set the tone of what is in store. I have met up with Jayakka in mostly weddings and had one rare privilege when she visited our place for a couple of hours in Bangalore (this was way back in 1989). Her soft demeanor, lilting voice (which is inherited by Amritha Chitti, Chooda mame) is still palpable when I close my eyes. It is commendable that the entire family got together to celebrate the life of a great soul. I also loved the way the celebrations included sharing, giving, caring- all qualities which Jayakka demonstrated in her life. The story of Jayam is indeed a magnum opus by chitappa. It is a crown jewel to be rightly proud off. Therefore, I am sharing my thoughts on this article in more detail. I loved the whole article, some lines remain in my mind-“Jayam and her husband had moved up from lower middle-class to middle middle-class as far as finances were concerned. But their value system was always top class.”. How true it is that tangible gold pales in comparison with the intangible asset of education that jayakka and athimber could give to their children! And, the remarkable journey of the sold ottiyaanam into the family trust to educate more children-that’s absolutely brilliant way to present the incident. I loved every second of my summar holidays, precisely because of laissez-faire in Vedachala Gardens It was also very insightful to read about the social and economic background prevailing in the 1930s onwards, the shifts in marriage age of girls, etc. It explains the gender disparities that were probably more circumstantial and less due to patriarchal pressures. I wish we could turn the clock back and our children could experience the joy that we did in camping at our grandparent’s homes. Now joint families have given way to nuclear families, distances-both physical and emotional-have increased, gadgets have replaced real people, we are seeing generational shifts in human relationships due to shifts in lifestyle which has moved from middle-middle class to affluent. The value systems too have got re-set in line with our times. But articles such as ‘The story of Jayam’ help us realise the lost treasures and hope that the clock will indeed be turned back in the generations to come. Kannanna’s memoirs were superb. I realized that Jayakka was around 85 years old when she passed away, what a fulfilling life she led. It was news that Rajeevi manni had offered her prize of gold bangles to Jayakka. So true that it spoke volumes about the character of both the wonderful women in question. I felt happy that I too had had a strong bond with my mother in law for the eleven odd years that she lived after our wedding. Prasad’s style of writing is outstanding. I enjoyed every word of his article. It was truly ‘firsht class’. It brought back vivid memories of my holidays when Kamala Paati would put dollops of sathamudhu saadham and vedakkai karamadhu to her grandkids. Indeed, we all had gluttonous appetite! The fragrance of the food, the fun of having it with cousins, the love with which it was offered, the small mercies and the big mercies of having loving grandparents around- all that is captured so well by Prasad. It is quite obvious that Prasad has an excellent alternate profession available for him whenever he decides – writing! Mukund’s comment on the modern concepts of parenting fatigue and burnout brought a smile to my face, our parents or grandparents needed no counselling, they kept their counsel and raised their children/grandchildren with loads of love and impeccable values. Both Mukund and Kannannna have mentioned one principle, which I loved and plan to imbibe, though I know it is a tough one to imbibe- குற்றம் பார்க்கின் சுற்றம் இல்லை Kuttram parkkin suttram illai I was quite surprised to hear about the firmness and rules with which Jayakka brought up her kids through Chooda mami’s audio. The ever smiling, gentle person that I had seen appears to be a different personality altogether. Ramesh summarized his experience with Paati very well. memories of grandparents and invariably food, invoke so much nostalgia in all of us. Rukkakka’s audio was very nice, she spoke of Jayakka’s strength of character, boldness, firmness in bringing up her kids, hospitality, I think it is a bygone era. I am sure that it would have been a matter of pride to her that all her children shaped up so well with myriad achievements, the sublimest of the achievements being-shaping into wonderful human beings. Both Rukkakka and Pushpakka mentioned about God could not be present everywhere hence he created mothers! I too recall how moved we were when we did Gaya Shraadham for our in-laws, the priest explained the significance of each ‘pindam’-the maximum being offered for the mother. Pushpakka and Shobha have summarized it well-the joy of celebrating festivals like Deepavali, Kanu, Avani avittam etc together is unparalleled. Santhanam anna’s nine point summary captured Jayakka’s many attributes so well. I loved the phrase he used to convey the art of living, the definition of joy of living- “happiness consists more in small conveniences or pleasures that occur every day than in great pieces of good fortune that happen but seldom”. Hoping for the next generations to continue the good work being done through the Trust was an awesome way to end his tribute to Jayakka! Kausalya Manni’s thoughts captured many unknown facets of Jayakka, for e.g. her love for animals. It is heartening to see Kausalya Manni heap praises on her mother- in-law. Rahul’s anecdote on Jayakka watching a game of tennis just to spend time with her beloved grandson was touching. Radhika’s article captured the multiple facets of her loving Paati so well. Radhika’s thoughts are well captured in her words. ‘Suzhi walker’- brought a smile to my lips And, above all, I must candidly admit that I learnt a new word (Sisyphean-never ending task) while reading her article Amritha Chitti’s article captured the sweet memories so well. I was really amused watching the video of everyone playing the ‘family game’, especially Jayakka saying ‘settaa irundhadhu thookki pottuteyn Amritha” and hitting a century which is a cause for consternation in this game as against its’ coveted status in cricket Chittappa’s collage of memories is packed with anecdotes and punched with a lot of humour in quintessential chittappa style! Enjoyed each clipping of the lovely collage. More rasam , Remote in the fridge, paavam prefix for everyone, itna badaa suitcase, walker as locker-every line had so much humour packed in. I could identify with Jayakka chiding athimber for forgetting the suitcase, since I too love to lay the blame for everything that’s done or not done, happening or not happening-squarely at Murali’s door! Harish’s reminiscence were from the heart, they spoke highly of what Jayakka meant to him and to each of the people’s lives she touched. Aarthi’s article was remarkable, she has a flair with words and has a breezy, natural style of writing. The choice of words, quotes, the description of memories, all very aptly conveyed. Aarthi is a gifted writer, in addition to being a creative cartoonist, film maker, etc. The evolvement of her style of writing is evident if we read the article written in 2006 and 2021. One thing I observed that both Radhika and Aarthi have mentioned about their Paati’s unstinted support for their ‘modern style’ of clothing, this speaks volumes about how ahead of her times Jayakka was and how ready she was to support her loved ones’ choices. Raghu’s touching tribute to Jayakka was really from the heart. Chandra’s audio was very nice, she has heaped praise on her mother-in-law, putting her on a pedestal of a role model, which in itself speaks volumes about Jayakka’s grace, dignity and ability to include everyone wholeheartedly into her family. Both Vidya and Nitya have paid touching tributes to their Paati. Nitya captured the thought very well-that Jayakka had what it takes to make a house a home! The poem written by Nitya in 2006 is superb. "Enna Solli Azhaithal Varuvayo" mentioned by them– is a Segway to read Hema’s article. Hema has revealed some interesting facets of Jayakka, like her urge to learn English. Hema’s poignant memories convey her sense of anguish that she could not stay with her mother in her last days. Such is life! Snippets on Jayakka written by Raghu chitappa, Uri and Radha also made good reading. In summary, great souls like Jayakka never die, they bring everyone together. The thread of love with which they knit a warm blanket to envelop everyone is the strongest bond. It is a bouquet of memories which this newsletter brings, it is memories that we must grapple to our hearts with hoops of steel!! Usha Murali June 2021 |