Congratulations to Usha and Murali who have pulled off a grand wedding event. Usha can now claim the succession crown from Kannan (sans the budget). Kannan, my brother-in-law and Usha's mama has got the unique distinction of getting over 30 couples married in our family. He would organise right from Pandakkal to Sambandi virundhu within the budget. I am glad to say that I was his chief எடுபிடி (assistant) for about five years.

Usha was the prime mover behind the grand event and was ably supported by Murali, Geetha, Mohan, Vatsala, Priya, Giri, Deepa, Krishna, Pavithra, Padma and Sri Raghavan. This article sums up some of my impressions on the wedding.

PREPARATIONS
An event of this magnitude calls for extensive preparations. The three main pillars for the successful conduct of a wedding are the marriage hall, the purohit (vedic priest) and the caterer. And this wedding needed an event manager as well. Usha finalized all these in December 2022 and the six months of preparation ensured that there was no hitch. We ordinary mortals would think we have done our bit once these four essentials are arranged. But for Usha, the spiritual quotient is like salt in the dish. Therefore, a series of spiritual events were conducted to invoke the blessings of Narayana. The first was the Sudarshana homam on 11th December 2022 along with the engagement ceremony. Then there were four spiritual gatherings – Divya Prabhandham recital led by Kanaka Mami (Amritha and I attended this recital by all-woman group and were very impressed), Sampoorna Narayaneeyam recital led by Smt Radha, ISKCON Bhajans led by Murali’s cousins Radha and Balaji and Sundarakandam recital led by Srinivasa Bhattar of Andavan Ashram. In most of the events, Deepti participated online to take blessings from the bhaagvathaas. Home made prasadam was served in recyclable plates to all the participants. This set the tone for the wedding ethos - Spiritual, warm, personal, hospitable and eco friendly.

The wedding invitation was in tune with the wedding ethos and made with plantable Tulsi seeds. Ours is in Chennai and we will bring it to Bangalore and plant it. Murali and Usha personally invited close relatives, including Akshay’s close family, for which they travelled all over India. Fortunately all close relatives are in India. But knowing Usha she would have dragged Murali and gone to Timbaktu if any close relative was there.

The wedding celebrations really started when Akshay and Deepti decided to have their own spiritual gathering in Bangalore club.

CLASSY AND TASTEFUL
The first thing that struck me was that class was written on every activity. The decoration at the Bride’s home, the ambience of the Clubhouse where Mehendi celebrations took place, the decorations in the Ambari main hall, the articles that were displayed….., everything about the wedding exuded class and understated richness. The only loud and lavish item was perhaps the Bollywood-inspired Sangeet, to cater to the young and energetic participants. Among the wedding ceremonies, Oonjal was outstanding. As Murali’s cousin, Sarathy had commented – ‘The oonJAL ceremony in the stepwell pond was a stand- out event , without crowding the couple and everyone having a relaxed balcony view.’











RELATIVES
Usha is superhuman and has a circle of family members who are also superhuman. The way her near and dear relatives offered their unstinted support throughout the celebrations was truly commendable. the MGR brothers Mohan, Giri and Ravi (alias Krishna) and Very Great sisters (Vatsala , Geetha) ensured seamless execution. Geetha Mohan was the commander-in-chief and the Purohits also realised this and would look to her for any requirement needed. The other ladies were not to be left behind. Priya, Deepa, Pavithra and Padma (Usha’s உடன் பிறவா சகோதரி-akin to own sister) took complete ownership of every aspect of the wedding, whether it be packing or unpacking, serving food to guests, hospitality, logistics-you name it and they were always there.

Any family that has a sense of humour is a close-knit one. I could see several instances where Murali’s family members showed their sense of humour. I will share two anecdotes.
                    - Krishna had trouble getting up from a sitting posture. Giri said,’ Can you get up or shall I arrange a crane?’
                    - I asked Babu (Vatsala’s husband),’ Everybody calls you by name. Has anyone ever called you Athimber?’ He replied,’ No there is no such bad habit in our family.’

Incidentally I was addressed Chithappa by everyone including the next generation.

FRIENDS
Friendships, like plants, need regular care. And Usha is good in nurturing plants (her balcony is a feast for the eyes) and friendships. It was great to see her friends turning up from all over India and abroad. I could see friends that first met her more than 40 years earlier. I would not have been surprised if Usha had introduced someone saying, ‘We were born in the same hospital and have maintained our friendship ever since.’

TIRELESS DANCERS
I was not planning to attend Mehendi and Sangeet as I have zero interest in both of them. After everyone left Usha’s house for the Clubhouse, only three of us – Babu, Mr. Vasudevan and I - were sitting and we had exhausted all topics of conversation. So I had to attend Mehendi and did not regret the decision. Apart from meeting many, I was impressed by two tireless dancers – Anjana and Harshini They danced with grace and inspired older ladies (some with two left feet) to dance. Akhil was a trend setter and the first man to apply Mehendi for his sister’s wedding. Murali followed suit, Deepti and Akshay’s friends also sportively put mehendi on their palms, many had put the wedding monogram in mehendi form. It was fun to watch. If I was a regular weraer of Srichurnam I'd have shown my forehead to the Mehendi creator. The snacks and dinner added to the enjoyment.

NATURE’S LUXURI RESORT
When we saw the room, we had some reservations about four persons (all above 70) staying there. But a phone-call to Mohan brought two extra beds and we had a great stay thanks to the company and the ambience of the resort. There is no wi-fi in the resort, and no newspapers. When I asked for an English newspaper, the receptionist said they have only Kannada papers. The welcome hampers in the room had plenty of chocolates and cashew nuts. Who needs wifi or newspapers when you have cashewnuts to munch and company to gossip?

The comparative nearness to the wedding venue (about 500 metres away) and the availability of cars round the clock to go to the wedding hall ensured that we could have adequate rest between events.

AMBAARI
The wedding Venue, Ambaari claims in their website as 'CONTEMPORARY PLUS HERITAGE Old is gold, and the new is limitless. With the perfect blend of heritage and contemporary vibes spread across the 2.5-acre lush green space, Ambaari is that sweet spot where you feel close to the roots and are also on the cloud nine.' Though blurbs tend to exaggerate, this was one claim which was accurate.

BOOKLETS
The booklets on wedding rituals in English, Tamil and Kannada are very informative and very well-designed. I think many in the audience could appreciate the meaning of the rituals thanks to Usha’s booklet. My 0.001 % contribution to the marriage efforts was in helping the editing of the Tamil version as well as editing the Tamil invitation.I was happy when Usha told me that she used the Tamil version to translate to Kannada and also to edit the English version.

DUSHYANT SRIDHAR
I used to enjoy lectures till 2002. But after I started getting interested in Carnatic music, my interest is limited to listening to music (Carnatic as well as old Tamil and Hindi songs). I was listening to a religious lecture after a long time. But Dushyant Sridhar was a revelation. He is knowledgeable, witty and has a good command over the languages. I thoroughly enjoyed the lecture despite BESCOM trying its best to spoil the show with frequent power interruptions. I was surprised that Usha was powerless with BESCOM..

THE VEDIC PANDITS
The diction and clarity of the Pandit Manapakkam Kesavan who presided over the wedding was commendable. He belongs to Murali’s mother’s ancestral village, Manapakkam (near Chennai). He drove down on his own, with his entourage to conduct the wedding. He did not have to explain the meaning and significance thanks to the booklet. So, we could enjoy the vibes created by the Mantras. The Pandit engaged by Akshay’s parents Shri Madhusudan Bhat seemed to have been overawed by Manapakkam Kesavan. There was excellent co-ordination amongst the priests on both sides, to ensure a blend of rituals of Iyengars and Havyaka Brahmins.

TEMPLE GARLANDS
The blessings which came to the newly weds in the form of garlands adorned by Perumal and Thaayaar from various temples was awe-inspiring. Selfless Kainkariyams done by Mohan, Geetha, Murali and Usha for various temples in the last few years was evident. The fact that Bhattars travelled from far and wide with the lord’s blessings, prasadams, is commendable. During viradam, garland adorned by Swami Ramanuja at Sriperumbudur temple was presented to the couple. During Nischayadartham, garlands adorned by Veeraghava perumal and Kanakavalli Thaayaar of Tiruvallur were presented to the couple. At the muhurtham, garlands from Srirangam, Tirupati, Kanchipuram, Melkote, Tiruvallur, Naachiyaar Kovil, Oppaliappan kovil, Srivilliputtur, Tiruvellarai, Anbil, Lakshmi temple (JP Nagar), Dwarka and Poundareekapuram Andavan Ashram were presented to the newly weds. There was a gasp among the audience when Tiruppathi, Dwaraka, Srivilliputhur and Tiruvallur were mentioned. But I was worried for Akshay whose neck had to bear all that weight. Fortunately he coped up.

NADASWARAM
The highlight of the wedding for me was the Nadaswaram (and Saxophone) recital. They were mesmerizing. Even as I write this, three songs play in my mind – Brahmam Okate (played when Akshay and family were escorted to the wedding hall), Jagadho dharana and Entharo mahanubhavulu (Radha’s request). Two days later, I was standing in front of Lord Navaneetha Krishna in Aprameya temple in Chennapatna. The thought that Purandara Dasa stood there 500 years ago and composed and sang Jagadho dharana was exciting. It was the Nadaswaram rendition of the song that played in my mind at that moment. I understand that the Nadaswaram Vidwan (C.R.Shyam Sundar & Party) recently played for Nirmala Seetharaman’s (Finance Minister) daughter’s wedding also.

EVENT MANAGEMENT
The wedding arrangements were top-class for which credit should go to Team Atulya (founded by Sri Vidya Krishna). I have already talked about the Oonjal function. The flower decorations done by Anu (owner of Ambaari / Levitate weddings) were excellent. The background décor of Shrinathji blessing the wedding was unique and enhanced the ambience of the wedding. A noteworthy feature was the absence of plastics (including the ubiquitous plastic water bottles in the dining hall). The seamless arrangements for transport and stay were very efficiently carried out with a personal touch by Neha, Vinay and team (part of Atulya). Special thanks to them. The updates in the WhatsApp group created for the wedding helped everyone.

RAIN GOD
The one nagging worry most of us had was that the wedding date coincided with pre-monsoon showers. We were wondering whether rain would play spoilsport. We hadn’t obviously reckoned with the power of Usha. Her chanting of a particular prabhandham brought Varuna Bhagavan under her control (Kunram yeyndhi kulir mazhai kaathavan-Tiruvaaimozhi-3.3.8). She released her hold only after Grihapravesam and the farmers of Karnataka heaved a sigh of relief.

My congratulations and blessings to Deepti-Akshay for a long, happy, healthy and harmonious life ahead.

After this excellent wedding experience, we look forward to the next event. Will it be Sashtiabdhapoorthi of Murali or Abdhapoorthi of their grandchild?

S.Parthasarathy (with inputs from Usha)
13th June 2023