The phrase ‘home away from home’ means ‘a place where one is as happy, relaxed, or comfortable as in one's own home.’

Kannan Mama and Rajeevi Mami were exactly that - home away from home, family away from family. Our paths crossed often, and in interesting ways.

My father’s Railway job meant a lot of moving, and a lot of it happened before I was born. We still moved, but mostly within Bombay. But we traveled a lot- every holiday, we were off somewhere! I learned a lot and enjoyed this nomadic, on-the-move life that we were often living.

Though I now realise, also through stories, that it was also difficult for my parents to keep moving, and end up in places where they didn’t know too many people. Having Mama and Mami in the same city was such a source of comfort and joy.

We were together in Bombay - so we saw each other often. Quite a few of my memories of Bombay are connected with Mama and Mami. I remember their home in Ballard Estate. It was huge. I mean, all the cousins used to play cricket together indoors. Granted I was the youngest, but that place was big enough that a match used to be difficult for me. I remember the terrace in Ballard Estate, with the sea and the shipping yard visible.

I remember being at their place in Delhi for a few days, as my parents took a trip to Vaishno Devi in Kashmir, and they decided I should not travel with them. I spent those days with Mami and Mama, and I remember how they went out of their way to ensure I was comfortable.

A memory of Mama that is very clear for me is when he encouraged me to study French. In my 7th standard in Bombay, I had switched schools, and I realised that I had an option for my third language. I was good at Marathi - I was reasonably fluent, enough to carry on a conversation, read and write well. But the option was French, and I remember being confused. Mama advised me to take French, as learning a foreign language had certain benefits. I learned then, that Mama was actually quite fluent in French. I did take French after careful consideration - and Mama sometimes helped me with my lessons. One memorable lesson was pronunciation.

I had just started learning French, and language education in India is often centered around the written form - with a view of passing exams. It was so in my school at the time. Teachers tried to teach pronunciation but the logistics of limited time, skewed teacher-student ratios and a big syllabus did not allow it. At that time, in the evenings, sometimes French movies would play on the MGM channel (subtitled). After a few weeks of French, I felt confident enough to understand an entire film (kids are stupid). So I sat down to watch it, and not one word was identified or understood by me. I felt like I had made a horrible mistake. Later, I took this up with Mama.

He explained that the French don’t exactly pronounce things the way they’re written (unlike Marathi, which was phonetic). As an example, he held up my book and showed me the French line for ‘What is this?’ which was ‘Qu'est ce que c'est?’ In my head, it was pronounced ‘Kwest-see-kay-see-est’, that’s how I had been saying it in my mind when I read it. He said ‘It's actually pronounced ‘Kess-k-say’. I remember, at that point, feeling dumb enough to join politics.

He continued, ‘Think of something being bitter, ‘kasa-kasa’. And use that to lead to the correct pronunciation.’
‘Kasa-kasa, Kess-k-say’, I repeated slowly.

Why was French like this? I remember reading Asterix, and seeing Obelix call every other civilization, from the Romans to the Indians ‘crazy’ (tap-tap-tap), when actually they themselves (the French/Gauls) were the craziest.

Thus began my tryst with pronouncing French correctly, starting with ‘Qu'est ce que c'est?’. I used Mama’s technique of finding a word in Hindi or Tamil that was closest to the correct pronunciation so I could remember it. Sure, the internet is now filled with tutorials on the subject, but at that time, the teacher would say it once in class, and that was it.

I liked languages, and French was easy - as long as it was written. But for me to actually use it in any way, I had to learn to speak it, as Mama had pointed out. I slowly got the hang of it.
-- Mon dieu (my god) - Mon like the maun from ‘maunvrat’, Dieu like Daman and Diu
-- Petit (little) - Like ‘pethi’ (grandaughter) but ‘pe’ shorter
-- Il y a (there is) --il like ‘eel’ y a like ‘या’

Later, I watched another French movie and I was slowly able to pick out words and phrases! Success! It came in handy for real when a group of French foreign exchange students came to our college, and I was able to translate a bit (to their surprise). I did butcher the pronunciation at times, but not as badly as I might have, had I continued my way.

Each time I would meet Mama, he would ask how my French was going, and I would crib about the pronunciation, and he would laugh. But he was happy to know I continued French after 10th, and did well in my exams.

One of my closest friends from college, Ishan, eventually ended up marrying Emilie, a wonderful person from France. They now live in Paris with their twins, and I manage to converse in basic French with them over Skype.

Mama influenced my life in this way, and many other ways. Today it is part shocking, part horrifying to see how easily Google Translate replaces five entire years of French language education. But learning French is not a decision I regret, and thanks to Mama, it was very useful.

I always found it amazing that he worked at India Post. I remember, he brought me First Day Covers of newly released stamps, and they went into my collection. He knew I collected stamps (a hobby passed on to me by Appa and Anna) and he went out of his way to get me stamps that I liked. I would show off to my friends with this collection, and they would ask me how I got these covers and stamps, and I would explain ‘My uncle works in the Post Office and he can get any stamp he wants’. I do realise my exact understanding of Mama’s work was quite poor. But my pride was solid, and not misplaced.

I found out later that Kannan Mama encouraged my father to give the IAS exams, and suggested the IRAS as a place of work for him. My father’s career, his life, our lives are all directly influenced by that advice. We all owe Kannan Mama an enormous debt of gratitude. May he rest in peace.

Aarthi
29th May 2021