Exactly 2 months after the demise of R. Narasimhan (Kanna mama) and after 46 days of Parthasarathy’s (Partha chitthappa) request to send in our articles for his virtual memorial of the departed soul, I sit to write about this man whom I have personally known too little. My faintest recollection of my first visiting him was when I was still a school kid. I remember an apartment complex and on the ground floor, quite close to the stairs, opens the door to the house where Kanna mama lived. This memory sits strong in my head due to one important detail. The walls. This was for the first time in my life I had seen wallpaper. A beautiful background, much like what we find in today’s desktop computers, lay in front of me, gigantic and all over the wall. It seemed to me, back then, the perfect wall. Something like a painting embedded into it. For much of that visit, while the adults talked as adults would, I spent my time inspecting the wallpaper. Behind me, maama called on me “Aditya! Inga vaada!” (Aditya! Come here!). I turn around and he held my hands with a smile. 60 days ago, this memory was playing on repeat while I went to visit him for the last time. Another instance I remember vaguely was during his 70th birthday celebration, Partha chitthappa conducted Housie (as is usual in our family get-togethers) and I had won the first row (I guess?). The important catch was that anyone who wins needs to talk about Kanna maama. Not knowing what to say, I went up to him and wished him a happy birthday, while the crowd around me laughed and found this act of personal embarrassment relatively cute. While these seem to be the zenith of my personal experience with mama, my parents and paati have cherished incidents and moments with him that they shared with me in the months following his death. This writing is, in a way, a tribute to his soul and a way for me to never forget his existence.

“அண்ணா என்னைத் திட்டினதே இல்லை -Anna enna thithinadhae illa,” (Anna has never scolded me) tells my பாட்டி -paati (Rukmani) with a feeble voice and glittering eyes that almost breaks into tears. She takes some time to regain herself, adjusts her posture and ruminates in silence. After several moments, her lips curl into a smile. Kanna Maama was the ideal big brother. Always acutely affectionate and caregiving, he showed great importance for his siblings’ welfare. Being the eldest and having clear knowledge on the family’s economic situation at the time, he believed (and rightly so), that formal education was the key to the welfare of all his brothers and sisters. His understanding of the economic situation – of just his father’s (my Kollu Thaatha) income to support 8 children, led him to place on himself the responsibility of tutoring everyone in the family. After every day’s class at school, my paati and her sisters were to revise their chapters and explain them to him at night and it was the same deal before exams. Paati tells me she studied well enough only due to the fright of revising it all with her brother at the end of the day. At the same time, while the younger ones gave him updates on their studies, Maama would tell them all about his day, narrating in detail everything that happened to him.

Once, while studying and living in Loyola’s hostel, Maama met with the actor PS Veerappa who, my paati tells me, was a cruel villain on screen. Maama was the first to break it to my paati that the villains on screen were not quite the same off-screen. Veerappa met him regularly outside the hostel and their friendly chats were recorded in detail to his siblings at home. Another time, Maama was heading back to the hostel after a tiring day. When he was passing by a decorated house in Habibullah Road, a man came to him and blurted out, “சார், எங்க கிளம்பீட்டிங்க? வாங்க, வாங்க சாப்டுட்டுதான் போகணும். - Sir, enga kelambitteenga?! Vaanga vaanga, saaptitu dhaan poganum.” (Sir, where are you going?! Come come, only after eating you can go). It was a case of mistaken identity and before Maama could react, he was taken to the owners of the house who were performing the Grihapravesam. Mama was astounded to see Gemini and Savitri and was quickly ushered into the lunch hall. Sensing that there was nothing else to do but surrender, Maama told his sisters, “டெய்லி ஹாஸ்டல் சாப்பாடுக்கு பதில் நல்ல விருந்து சாப்பாடு சாப்பிட்டேன் - daily hostel’le saapadradhukku badhilaa, oru naal virundhu saapadu sapppitten”, (Instead of eating in the hostel every day, I got special food once) this quirky remark makes my paati laugh even today.

Fast forward a few years later, my paati gets a clerical job in Kanchipuram quite close to home and quickly gets selected through her good work to another posting in Chennai. Surprisingly, Maama had his posting in Chennai too. They rented a house and stayed together. Here too, Maama’s paternal instinct for caregiving made its way. My paati was asked to read a lot of novels and news, particularly in English, and as an unquestioning disciple, Rukku followed. She laughs again as she tells me all that habit was for his sake only, and that she does not go near English books now. “ நீங்க கேம்ஸெல்லாம் ஆடுவீங்களா? - Neenga gameslaam aaduveengala?” (Did you guys play games?) I asked my paati. “இல்லம்மா rareஆ chess விளையாடுவோம் - Illamaa. Rare’a chess vilayaaduvom.” (Not really. We played chess, albeit rarely.) She tells me routine life, with just their coming and going, was what filled their time back then, and that striking a singular memory during this time is nearly impossible. She adds that though her memory might fail her, her sense of belonging and living with her anna is quite impressively etched in her heart.

A few more years later, when Mr. Varadachari (my Thaatha) enters my paati’s life - my Appa (Madhu) was born. The newborn’s 1st year birthday was a grand event, and Maama showed up with a greeting card that had a beautiful drawing of a baby and a message on it, “Now you are 1”. Thoroughly overjoyed with this gift, Paati and Thaatha were greatly impressed. A few months after this incident, however, when Maama visited them, he was shocked and scared to find Madhu screaming and crying his lungs out for want of a cradle to sleep in. An entire night of sleeplessness later came Maama’s wise words of hopelessness, “குழந்தை கொஞ்சறதுக்குதான்னு நினச்சேன், இதையெல்லாம் பாத்தா பயமா இருக்கு - kuzhandhai konjarukkudhaan nu nenachen, idhayellam paartha bhayama irukku.” (I was under the impression that babies are awesome for cajoling; but watching this I am scared). Rukku again drifts into oblivion as she finishes narrating this to me. I wait for a few seconds, and then interject, “அப்பறம் - appuram?” (Then?) “அப்பறம் அவருக்கும் குழந்தை பிறந்துடுத்து - Appuram avarukku kozhandhai porandhudhu.” (Then he had a baby) and she laughs brightly again. Her laugh quickly fades, and she tells me of her final meeting with her anna in the hospital. “Enna recognize pannaaru, ana pesa mudiyala avaraalae.” (He could recognize me, but he could not talk.) Whenever my paati had been to her brother’s place in Chennai, he would ask them to stay just a little longer. Talk a bit more. Enjoy their company a bit more, while he would become teary-eyed. His siblings truly brought him joy. Paati drifts off again.

Understanding that this is where I leave my grandmother to herself and her memories, I walk off to see my Amma (Geetha) in the kitchen making sandwiches. “Enna aachu?” (What happened?) she asks me, looking at my morose face. A mother’s instinct never misses, especially on Mother’s Day. I tell her my conversation with paati, and she smiles. “Ennakum oru vishayam nyaabagam irukku.” (I too remember one instance.) My ears perk up and I start to listen again. When my parents got married, the first Deepavali (thaladeepavali) was to come soon. They had gone to Mumbai to meet Geetha’s brother (Rangarajan Aka Balaji) and her mother (Sugantha) in Thane. Here, all of a sudden and as a pleasant surprise, Kanna maama had managed to visit them. When asked how he found the place, he told them that that was easy. Being an Indian Postal Service officer, he went straight to the post office and told them the names – Rangarajan and Sugantha. The postman escorted him directly here. While the pleasantries of the conversation continued, the post man asked Sugantha if she had complained to Narasimhan Sir regarding him, and with great relief went back after understanding that Sir was their “சம்பந்தி - Sambandhi” (in-law). One thing changed for Sugantha and Balaji for the rest of their stay in Mumbai. The postman, henceforth, never failed to deliver the post to their front door which was on the third floor! After the pleasantries, Maama tells my parents and the rest that their auspicious Thaladeepavali needs to be celebrated by visiting Mahalaxmi Temple in Worli, and hence his visit asking them to join him. My parents agreed and, all together, they set off to the temple. On reaching the temple, they found a huge crowd which made them wonder if this was indeed a good idea? While they waited in line for around 15 mins, some official from the postal department who happened to be there instantly recognized Maama and took all of them straight to the sannidhi. Influence garnered through respect is something else indeed. While returning, Maama took them to his house in Colaba and to their surprise, he had arranged for a sweet to be prepared along with dinner to celebrate their Thaladeepavali together. Narrating this with her characteristic energy, Amma continuously fed me her awesome sandwiches, while Appa came in.

I looked at Appa expectantly. It was his turn to tell me something about Kanna Maama now and he knew it straight away. He smiled sensing that I needed a cheering anecdote, and then eyes gazing up slightly as if searching his memory, he burst out laughing. “Oru funny incident irukku.” He and his cousins had been to Kanna maama’s house when they were kids. They were playing cards with Prasad and the others when Kanna Maama made his way back home in the evening. He brightened up as soon as he saw all the kids in the house and started to tell them about his day. It was revealed to the kids that he watched a movie that day. Appa and the other cousins looked at him expectantly, and so Maama continued to tell them the entire story of the film. After narrating the entire thing, Madhu turned towards his cousins and said, “ஃபுல் கதையை சொல்லிட்டாரு, இப்ப நாம் என்னத்த போய் பாக்கறது? - full kadhayaye sollitarae! Ippo namma ennatha poi paarkaradhu.” (He told us the entire story, now what will we go and watch!) Appa also tells me about this one time when Kanna maama had come to visit us in Bangalore, when Geetha asked him if he would eat semiya upma, he had vehemently opposed. In the kitchen, when my mom wondered what to cook instead, Raajivi maami came in and told her, “avarukku naa pannare semia upma pudikaadhumaa, adhan. Nee vera maadhiri pannarenaa pannu.” (He does not like the semiya upma that I make, that is why. If you make it in another style, then go for it.) This is when my Thaatha (Varadachari) interjected and motioned my mother to make semiya upma. When the moment of judgement came, Maama looked at his plate and asked my mom if it was sevai? On hearing it was semiya upma, and having enjoyed it, he looked up at Raajivi Maami and asked her, “நீ கத்துண்டயா? - Nee kaththuntiyaa?” (Did you learn it?) Hearing this, everyone around burst out laughing. With this anecdote Appa starts to grab a few sandwiches himself, and I, having sensed that my tummy was filled with sandwiches and my heart was filled with lovely anecdotes, made my way out of the kitchen and straight to my room. Where I am right now, writing this.

A few more things were said about Kanna Maama throughout these two months, about the amount of respect he had gained wherever he went and his good charitable deeds to society. But more than anything else, his contributions and legacy in building his siblings to the persons they are today is seen deeply engrained in my paati’s eyes. As for me, I will always remember his soft, kind tone, “Aditya, inga vaada!” and that wallpaper in the background. It shall now remain a special moment for his sister’s grandson.

Aditya Madhavan(with inputs from Rukmani, Madhavan & Geetha)
9th May 2021