When my mother-in-law first said “Kanna” I did not know whom she was referring to. She said it with a certain inflexion in her voice that showed the person was very dear to her, and she was very proud of him. I soon came to know there was not just one but there were two persons of the same name in the family and for neither, was it his real name! Both of them were very popular and esteemed. One Kannan of course referred to her eldest born. He had won not only her affection but also of everyone else in the house, I soon learnt. He had been guide, teacher and protector to them all egging them on to develop their potential and do their best. And he revelled when they succeeded. I always associate him with dignity. If there is a description or term “smiling gravitas”, it was him. I remember the first time he came to visit us in Bangalore, to meet my parents. He was the first member of the family who came to our home. Those were the days of safari suits and he had one in a light shade of brown, if I remember right. And he carried a briefcase. It was a pleasant morning we all spent together. Through the years the memory of the first meeting remains sharp and clear. In later years after I had joined The Hindu, whenever we met, he would always tell me he had read the latest article .

He would sometimes ring up too, to tell me he had read the piece and it always touched me. Even after he was affected, he would continue to remark on my writing. He was remarkable in the way he bore the onslaughts of the disease and never let it show in his face or demeanour. I have never heard him complain even once and that was extraordinary, considering how debilitating his illness was. He had of course the most caring and patient partner to tend to his every need, and one never failed to be in awe of her total devotion.

He never boasted of his sons but his quiet pride in them was always evident. And theirs in him.

He had a great and insatiable love for reading, whether in Tamil or English and one could see a variety of magazines at the home on each visit. He loved to go to concerts and dance recitals from his home in T. Nagar and seemed to derive so much joy from them. Sadly, these treats tapered off . Whenever we happened to visit and especially if we made surprise calls, his face would light up . He never failed to ask about Rahul and Radhika and their progress. He would fondly remark on Radhika’s articles and both he and manni would especially invite her each time we were asked there for lunch. The purattasi maavilakku lunches were special with manni affectionately serving the most delectable ellu sadam and koottu. Her cooking was exceptionally good but she would brush off my compliments with a smile. They were an extraordinary couple and very special.

His condition deteriorated and we were dreading the day when we would have to say goodbye. I am glad I remember him always as he was -with a gentle smile welcoming us as we entered their home. To me the image of him is forever of a person of great dignity and fortitude who earned respect and affection through the way he cared for others, and bore himself. I have never heard him say a harsh word. My brother- in- law, sister and brothers were much affected by his passing away and wrote moving condolence messages to us. It is difficult to believe he is not with us. But like all those who are special, he is there with us always I am sure- to bless us and celebrate with us.

Kausalya
22nd May 2021