At the outset, I must thank Chitappa for bringing back the treasure trove of memories through this edition. I honestly do not know why or how I had missed reading these articles written by Appa way back in 2003. Maybe I was caught in the humdrum of my routine, but that is no excuse to miss out on reading original content. We all know that original content is rare to find, even Netflix can boast of only 25% original content, whereas, we in the family, are privy to 100% original content in the family newsletters being brought out painstakingly by Chitappa.

The first part of down memory lane (Agraharam days) was no less than R K Narayan’s Malgudi days. The humour, the use of perfect words to describe the events, was testimony of Appa’s flawless command over the language. I always knew that Appa had excellent command over the English language and I still remember him asking me in my childhood, the meaning of the word ‘simpleton’. This was generally his litmus test and I remember I failed miserably when I said it means ‘simple’. He glared at me and asked me to improve my English, read more and refer to the dictionary !! Loved the various anecdotes and could relate to the fact that Kannan mama was a born leader and Appa his ardent follower! The last para on Kamala Paati’s untold physical sufferings was very poignant. I somehow feel that I am seeing Appa in new light through these newsletters, I regret that I really did not know him well….

In the second part of ‘Down Memory Lane’, references to PG Wodehouse, were easily identifiable for me since Appa has passed on the love for PG Wodehouse books to me as well. I still have Appa’s copy of Psmith in the city in my archives. The hilarious incidents of whacking by Devaraj Ayyar, irreverent visit to Kapali kovil and Man vs Man beast (Vardachary mama Vs Nambiar) have been captured so vividly, it was as if the incidents were playing out in front of this reader.

I will cherish the third part since it contains memories of my great grand-father whom I have never seen, since he passed away in 1966, the year I was born. Most touching of all the incidents narrated, was the fact that soolanguruchi thaathaa used to hold fort with a punkah (fan) till kollu paati slept. That makes me his fan! In the years when patriarchy ruled, I am proud that my kollu thaathaa was a caring and loving husband! The social issues pertaining to dowry as mentioned by Appa also highlight the less than equal status of women in those days. Many things have changed since then, but respect for women is a rare quality even in today’s modern world.

The fourth and final part added a new word to my dictionary- Perspicacity (the quality of having ready insights into things, shrewd). This is the second word I have picked up in as many months, the last word I learnt was Sisyphean (never ending task), from Radhika’s article on Jayakka! Even today, there is so much joy in learning. To me, learning a new word, a new language, a new insight, anything which improves my understanding even my the smallest degree is good progress. Soolangurchi thaatha giving the new books to kollu paati first and Parthasarathy Chitappa reading them to Paati, Appa demanding the same preferential treatment with maavadu, were extremely interesting to read, though I have heard of these incidents through the whatsapp get-togethers being conducted by Chitappa. The whatsapp get togethers is another example of chitappa’s ability to innovate and meet the need of the hour, Saturdays 3 to 4 pm is the best time of the week for many of us in the family (including Yours faithfully  this is a phrase I have plagiarized from Appa’s article)

Reading these wonderful articles now, made me wistful that I hadn’t read these when they were published 18 years back. I wish I had read and enjoyed the articles at that time. I wish I had given feedback which Appa was so eagerly waiting for. This too gets added to my list of ‘wish I had…

I hope that my feedback reaches him now….

It was a revelation that Chitti first started contributing to the newsletter from September 2002. Her simple narration of her Grandfather’s memories was from the heart. I do think that Chitti is self effacing and couldn’t believe that she wouldn’t open the packet of peppermint for fear of sharing! I haven’t seen a more sharing and caring person than Chitti

The second part had a lot of incidents neatly sewn into a beautiful blanket of memories. I have never had castor oil, but murali has described the travails of the dreaded medicine, which seems to have been most unpopular but survived till migration of people to the cities. Radio being unaffordable did not deter Chitti and her sisters from singing since music has no boundaries. Even now, we all know how beautifully chitti sings. We have had the privilege of hearing a few of her songs in the whatsapp get-togethers. We all just spoke recently of gifts, it was really funny how the status of blouse piece has changed over the years, Chitti has written that it was a coveted gift from the Ramar temple, whereas nowadays, it disappears within seconds (due to recycling ). I can imagine playing the responsible big sister to Raghu. The beetroot sambar episode was hilarious, I too have a hearty dislike for that vegetable and the lesser it is made/seen, the better. The drama enacted by Santhanam Anna and Raghu Anna and the goof ups brought a smile on the face!

Kanchipuram days too was full of pleasant experiences and memories. I could relate with Appa and Kannan Anna playing chess in aayiram kaal mandapam because Murali has regaled me with stories of how much he and his cousins played around in the same mandapam as his native place too is Kanchipuram. I still do not believe that Chitti was labelled the naughty vanaram by her school teachers in Kanchipuram! For many years, we missed the beauty and divine ethnicity of Kanchipuram, despite being so close by at Bangalore. It is in the past ten years that our love for the town has increased manifold. Chitti’s memories evoke a greater interest in Nagareshu Kanchi. The full phrase by Kalidas was a new learning for me, had heard Nagareshu Kanchi many times, but did not know it is a part of a phrase by Kalidas

Loved the fourth episode in the series, especially the phrase ‘importance of right turn’ used in the context of Hema’s sudden disappearance. It would have been a nerve wracking to suddenly not find a small child at home. The other incidents were indeed nostalgic. Two things caught my attention. I am really impressed at how Chitti has stayed in touch with her friends, despite the challenges. In those days, we did not have phone, whatsapp, facebook etc. I am sure it took sheer commitment and perseverance to ensure that out of sight does not become out of mind. Another point which caught my attention was the fact that Chitti was a working woman before her wedding. I cannot imagine the girls of current generation or my generation give up a central government job uncomplainingly. This really shows the qualities of family first, be good at everything which Chitti imbibes.

I feel that larger families had more joyous experiences than the current nuclear set up. Money was sparse, but happiness was aplenty.

I get reminded of a ghazal by Pankaj Udhas the lyrics went something like this..

Dukh sukh ek sabka, apna ho ya begaanaa, ek vo bhi tha zamaanaa, ek yeh bhi hai zamaanaa..(loosely translated, it means joys and sorrows were common, whether it was your own or others’ joys and sorrows, those were the times and these are the times..)

Usha Murali
July 2021