Vanaja akka, the unsung hero My mother was akka to many relatives and it is as a sister that she has become immortal in the memories of those she touched. She was a sister who showered her love and best wishes. When I look back I can't help but be amazed at how she was optimistic and positive in the most vital aspects of one’s life against all odds. Here are a few : She lived with her husband for just five years and never had the privilege of tying the second and third knot in all the four brother’s Marriage yet never even complained or lamented. She stayed far away and prayed for them with all her sincerity. Her advice to me on one occasion was,” When God closed one door, he always opens another. If you look towards the closing door and continue to weep, you will miss the opening door." Radha and I have known our father only through my mother and she has spoken so highly of him and our paternal aunts and uncles that we have always found talking about our father a joyous experience. Today I can realize the amount of pain that loss would have caused her. She never passed it on to us or for anyone for that matter. She simply immersed herself in a lot of activities and reached out to anyone in need of something. Amma I salute you from the depth of my being for this. She naturally nurtured relationships and always treasured them. Many of us have personal experience in this. My mother in law was a close friend of hers and to their credit I must say that they were mature enough not to let the new relationship spoil the old one. Hospitality is something she held so close to her heart that she earned the nickname AT(Anbu Thollai) for she wouldn’t let a guest leave our home without having something. She was grateful to people to an extent that I have not seen in anybody else. Her famous words in this respect was”________இல்லாவிட்டால் நாம் போன இடம புல்லு முளைச்சுப் போயிருக்கும் (___________illavittal naam pona idam pullu mulaithu poirukkum). (we would have become dust without________)” In the blank space you can fill up every relative and friend’s name. So she would never give us a dissenting voice in any matter because we needed to be grateful to that person for our very existence. She stopped saying this only towards the fag end of her life. She was very kind and always added the word Paavam when describing or referring to any one and used to be constantly teased by my grandfather for that. She never changed the way she spoke about people. The crowning glory of my mother’s existence was one achievement that I cannot credit anyone else with as on date. She completely retained her innocence till her death. ALL the trials and tribulations of life did not turn her into a cynic or make her skeptical or sarcastic at any point of time. She was highly intuitive and everyone in the family knows about her dreams that came true. She used to let us know in advance the date of arrival of the new addition to the family. .Choodamani mami believed her dreams so much that she got admitted in the nursing home on 25th December much against the wishes of the doctor and delivered Shyam on the day my mom had dreamed. Great Teachers Don’t Grow On Trees This is a saying that adorned my mother’s table. When I look back I realize that I have learnt a lot from my closeness to this great teacher who was a living school for me. Before I continue let me make it clear that it is the theory part that I have passed as for as practicing it is concerned- well the proof of pudding is in the eating and the proof of learning is in the sighting. Amma,the unconditional love you showered is my guiding light Amma you have never scolded me, beaten me or felt exasperated with me. You were an ideal mother ahead of your times in the way you could build openness in us and kept the channels of communication open and discussed topics that other mothers would have shied away from discussing with their adolescent children ranging from infatuation to making choices in life. As a teacher you were punctual, never took leave in the first 30 years and prepared for every class . You had reverence for school work and kept the answer papers in the steel almirah. You could find interesting bits of things in all happenings in life and make us laugh everyday like asking the conductor to ‘stop talking’ instead of ‘stopping hold-on’ You were amazingly sportive and could laugh at yourself and allowed all of us to tease you. (I pray that you bless me with 10% of that quality of yours ) I thank God for the wonderful parents grandparents and all relatives He has bestowed upon me and I cant help but feel a sense of gratitude for this fortunate birth and the song kurai onrum illai marai murthy kanna comes to my mind. I owe all this to my unassuming mother whose spirit and presence I have absorbed into my being and I just need to look inwards to find her there to guide me and chide me. Urmila Devanathan, Daughter