Periya mama As the title suggests my father-in-law was the eldest in his family and my mother-in-law was also the eldest daughter of her family. So they were both Periya mama and Periya mami to some of us and Periappa and Periamma to some. Periya means big or great and the adjective was appropriate for them as they were respected and revered by one and all in the family. I first met Periya mama when we had come to Chennai to attend my brother Narasimhan’s and my uncle’s son Santhanam’s Upanayanam which took place in their house at 25, Vedachala gardens. At that time I was in class 3, As he was my mother’s uncle, he was a grand-father to us though we were all calling him Periya mama (uncle) just like my mother who was being called Jaya akka (Jaya sister) by my nieces whereas they call me mami (aunty). My next visit to Chennai was in 1960 when my sister Choodakka was working in Chennai. That time I had visited their house many times as Gopalan Anna was the one who took me around Chennai. Mama used to sit in the attic (Paran) and used to write books and notes for high school children. The first thing that struck me was the engrossment of all the persons in the house with whatever they were doing. In the afternoons mami and some ladies would be busy making appalams (Appala kacheri) and Thatha (Periya mama’s father), Gopu mama and others would be busy with their bridge session (seettu kacheri) and it would be really like a market with a lot of din. But Gopalanna and Raghu anna would be reading books with utmost concentration which I have never noticed elsewhere. This quality, I think must have been inherited by all the children from their father. My husband never bothered about the marks our children scored whereas I used to bother about it. Then he used to say that he and all his siblings were never asked by their father to study. They studied on their own and came up well in life. In the same way, my husband never asked my children where they went and what they did as he was of the view that parents should only lead by example in the same way that his parents did. It shows the faith Periya mama had in his children and the children too never let him down. Periya mama looked the same from the day I saw him in 1958 (I think) till a year before he died. Aging showed on him only in the last few months of his life. He was very strict in whatever he ate but wanted it tasty. In the morning he used to have half a tumbler (silver tumbler) of strong coffee with lots of decoction and a little milk. The decoction had to be freshly brewed every time. He would have his bath and recite Ramayanam and Vishnu Sahasranamam and at around 10, he would have his lunch. I used to wonder how anybody could refuse to take Avakkai which was just a week old. But that is periamma. In the night he wouldn’t touch anything that was prepared in the morning. That was the reason for his hatred of the fridge. He used to call it oosa petti (box to keep stale items). In the afternoon around 2 he would have his coffee. At 2-30 or 3, he would have the tiffin. Dinner would be very light and early. He followed this regimen strictly. He was very fond of very spicy things such as green-chili chutney for curd-rice when fresh pickle was not available. Another aspect of his eating that struck me was that he took only 2 or 3 glasses of water in a day, yet had no problems. I should mention here about Periya Mami’s cooking ability and she did her utmost to make her husband contented. That is why I was very much afraid when they all first came to Solapur after my marriage to his son. I was just trained to do the regular cooking and knowing about Periya mama I was scared to cook and thankfully Periya mami took over the cooking and told me to help her in cooking and so I learnt from her the likes and dislikes of mama. But during nights I used to make chapattis and koottu which he liked. Then we would all sit in the garden and talk for an hour or so before going to bed. Then only I came to know about his mingling with everyone and his sense of humour. We all used to play cards (mail, which is actually our family game). Radha and Urmila used to tease him by telling Thatha, andha moonavadhu card 6 spadai podu or naalavadhu 8 hearts- Drop the third card 6spades or the fourth card 8 hearts). They could identify the cards through the reflection from his spectacles. With mock exasperation, he would reply ‘e[f[ Adfdmfm/ iT. Ckmf ilf@l (enna attamma idhu? Sugam ille – no use playing the game like this)’. We also used to play Dayakattam and Paramapadam. After mama’s death when mami came to our flat in Colaba, Mumbai, we used to play Dayakattam almost daily. We really enjoyed their stay with us in Chittaranjan when Harish was just about 1 year old. We had been to Baidyanath Dham, Gaya , Benaras and Allahabad. At that time mami was very orthodox and would not eat cooked food outside. So she cooked everywhere with the stove and utensils that we carried with us. Limited but excellent food was provided by her on all days. I still remember the day when 12 Railway people (who belonged to Sama veda) came to our house and had their sacred thread changed during Aavani Avittam. Mami made Appam and idly for all of them with coffee. They were all very much moved. For Harish’s Ayush Homam, my husband had fixed an Iyengar priest from Asansol which was 40 kms away. But there was a death in the family and the priest rang up that he could not come. Then my husband requested Mr. Iyer who was General Manager’s PA and had learnt mantras. When we hesitatingly told mama that we could not get an Iyengar priest, he was never bothered. Later he praised the priest very much by saying that he chanted all the mantras unlike some commercial priests. Talking of Harish’s birthday reminds me of the lunch Periya mami had made for nearly 40 people on that day. It was the talk of the town for long. Even after 20 years one chief mechanical engineer’s wife Indira Narasimhan was discussing the items that mami made on that day. I cannot also forget the nice lunch she made on the Punyavachanam day of Aarthi. Chitra, my niece was there and she would agree with me. Periya mama was a very simple man with no interest for going to movies and other entertainments. The only place that he was fond of going was to the beach. Even if we came to Chennai for just three days, a visit to the beach with him, sister-in-law Vanaja and others would definitely be there. And we used to take my mother also regularly to the beach when she was staying with us. It is only after the Tsunami that our visit to the beach has reduced. Listening to the small transistor was his passion. Even when the T.V became very popular, he would listen to news only from the radio. He also liked Tamil plays being broadcast. I can still visualize the posture of him lying to one side on the floor and holding the transistor to his ear or lying on the easy-chair with the radio in his ears. All the members of his family had inherited his sense of humour. Once my husband, his brother Sampath, his sister Vanaja, my nieces Urmila and Radha and of course Periya mama were all chatting when pun on the word Mani was made by all of them. The conversation went like this… mani enna? Eduthaathu maniya kekkalaamaa? Choodamaniya kooda kekkalaam Ippadhaan koil mani adichudhu En kitta mani 10 roobaathaan irukku En kitta kargamanithaan irukku It was amazing to watch the spontaneous comments one after the other without any break. Whoever had the chance to interact with Periya mama and mami had only nice things to say about them. I am thankful to God for giving me such nice in-laws and I am sure that they would be blessing us from Sri Vaikuntham. Amritha Parthasarathy